What Happens When You Make a Guy Write a Story During Summer Vacation

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June 17, 2009
Filed under Blogs, Entertainment

Hello. I’m writing this on Wednesday, June 17th 2009. Yes, I know what you’re thinking; why am I writing a story for the school newspaper website when no one is at school? I’m asking that same question to myself as type this. I guess a part of me resents having to do schoolwork during the summer, but when you think about it, it hardly qualifies as work; I’m the Entertainment Editor. Nothing I write about takes any actual reporting or research. My most valuable sources are Digg.com and Google. I make Gossip Girl look like Russell Crowe in State of Play.
So what shall I write about? My summer has been obscenely fun. Every day I wake up and begin what Winnie the Pooh described as “stoutness exercises.” I do fifty crunches, (in which I resemble a plump, dying salmon freshly pulled from the sea) 30 minutes on the treadmill and end it with a relaxing swim in the pool. My goal is to look like Seth Rogen does in Funny People by the first day of school, although I’ll most likely have to settle for Jason Segal in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Anything’s better than Jonah Hill in Superbad.
I own a car now. It’s a 2002 Kia Rio. It’s very cool. The first record I played in it while driving was Good News for People who Love Bad News by Modest Mouse, which is also the first record I ever bought myself.
The other day, my family and I were traversing the mall when we came across the Disney Store. They were selling items based on the movie Up; including a stuffed version of Dug the Dog that said memorable phrases that the character said in the movie. I haven’t wanted a stuffed animal that badly since I was Three.
I am done writing now. I’m supposed to be writing stuff all week, but I’m not going to. Not because I’m developing early Senioritis or because I’m being lazy. It’s because it’s the summertime and its my final Summer Vacation as a child. You’re lucky that you’re getting this much out of me.
I’ll see you in August. You know, when we’re actually at school.